The Sandwich Generation

The sandwich generation is made up of caregivers who are caring for both an aging parent and their children.

Barbara Field Barbara Field Senior Writer and Contributor

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What Is the Sandwich Generation?

Individuals who are caregiving for aging parents as well as their children are referred to as the sandwich generation. These adults, who are mostly women, are often squeezed between providing for both older and younger family members at the same time.

Often, they are called upon to offer physical, emotional, and financial support. More than 50 percent of Americans in their 40s are now taking care of both their children and senior parents.1

Whether they have minor children or adult children still living at home, many of these caregivers are stressed. With more young adults currently struggling to attain a solid financial foothold these days, it’s pretty common for parents to find themselves part of the sandwich generation — even after their children graduate high school or college. In this article, we’ll discuss the sandwich generation, the stress factors they may face, and how to alleviate that stress.

Understanding the Demographics of the Sandwich Generation

What Is Nursing Home Care

By their 50s, they’re still on the hook. Pew Research shows about 59 percent of those in their 50s and 83 percent of those 60 years and older are members of the sandwich generation. Once they reach their 50s, many are assisting an aging parent and an adult child financially.1

Pro Tip:

Pro Tip: Based on a recent AARP research report on caregiving in the U.S., 51 percent of caregivers say they benefit from gaining a sense of purpose and meaning when they care for their loved ones. But they also struggle with stress. Many report a concerning decline in their own health.3

Money challenges can get overwhelming, as can the emotional load. Some people are supporting their parents and adult kids who live at home or elsewhere. These caregivers are called the “club sandwich” generation. Others are responsible for their aging parents as well as their own grandchildren. This demographic is labeled the “grand-sandwich generation.”3

The Multiple Stress Factors Faced by the Sandwich Generation

While the number of sandwich generation members has increased dramatically, the burdens associated with being responsible for multiple generations are also rising. The sandwich generation is facing stressors on the job, with their finances, and with their mental and physical health.

Effect on Jobs

It’s hard to juggle a career while caregiving for your family members. With a constant need for assistance, you could be transferring your dad from independent living to assisted living in the morning, bringing your 6-year-old son’s tee-ball uniform to school in the afternoon, and then running to pay your daughter’s college tuition bill before the post office closes, all within the same day.

Not all companies have paid leave for child care or senior care issues. Taking time off from work can become disruptive. Not every employer understands if you have to leave because your 90-year-old mom is hospitalized with a UTI, or your grandchild has a fever and needs to be picked up from day care.

Effect on Finances

A whopping 57 percent of adults ages 18 to 24 years old lived in their parents’ home in 2024, according to the United States Census Bureau.4

Due to the high cost of living, expensive rents, and student loan debt, many of these young adults have moved home and are staying put. With more young adults residing with and depending on their parents, especially post-COVID, their parents must recalculate their financial burdens.

Costs rise in terms of food, utilities, car insurance, and sometimes housing for children. This is true especially when young adults are living at home or need financial assistance to live in dorms or apartments.

Meanwhile, these same parents are also paying extra out-of-pocket to hire homemakers, companions, and the like. Or to send their senior parent to adult day care. They might be subsidizing home renovations (like adding wheelchair ramps or walk-in tubs) needed to increase their senior parent’s safety.

It’s not far-fetched these days to see a young adult living in an updated basement apartment and a senior living behind the house in an auxiliary dwelling unit (ADU) that was once a shed.

As if this added financial burden wasn’t stressful enough, those in the sandwich generation are doing more than double duty. They must stay on top of their loved ones’ physical, emotional, and mental health, too.

Effect on Physical and Emotional Health

According to our 2024 family caregiver annual report and statistics rundown, most family caregivers are working women. About 77 percent are taxed to the max and report emotional stress. And 43 percent of family caregivers have sleeping problems.

An astounding 88 percent of family caregivers say they need more support. Few participate in caregiver support groups, but when they do, they benefit from the sense of community. Most prefer online forums and Facebook groups over traditional in-person support meetings due to their busy schedules.

FYI:

FYI: You can find various types of caregiver support groups, and most are free to join. Some are specific to roles, like groups for vets or spouses; some are based on culture, like young caregivers or LGBTQ+ caregivers; and some are based on your loved one’s condition, like dementia or cancer.

Effect on Mental Health

Whether their parents reside in the same house or are recuperating after breaking a hip in a nursing home across town, members of the sandwich generation can easily experience a decline in their mental health.

It makes sense when you realize caregivers may be dealing with medical costs, helping with daily activities, overseeing the supervision of their aging parents, and addressing legal issues, too.

Adults in the sandwich generation may feel overstretched: by their work, kids, grandkids, and parents. These caregivers, who are predominantly unpaid relatives, may also be dealing with the above-mentioned ongoing career and financial concerns, too.

With so many stressors, no wonder that over 35 percent of caregivers experience feelings of depression. The sandwich generation can often experience:

  • Caregiver burnout and feelings of guilt and isolation
  • Excessive rumination about not being a good spouse, parent, or child due to limited time constraints
  • Trouble juggling work, hobbies, relationships, and self-care for themselves
  • Psychological challenges as they struggle with being pulled in multiple directions

These are some potential problems that may arise after being a caregiver sandwiched between two generations. The following tips, however, can hopefully help caregivers in the sandwich generation manage and thrive.

Stress Busting Tips for Members of the Sandwich Generation

The primary mission of a caregiver is to keep everyone safe, happy, and healthy. However, like not using the oxygen mask first on the plane before helping others, if they neglect their own health, they can’t help anyone.

Fortunately, these tips can help reduce stress in the family, relieve the sense of “overwhelm,” and promote a more positive experience for all involved.

Tips for Yourself

If you’re in the sandwich generation and provide care, it’s critical to remember to be kind to yourself. Self-care is essential, as is paying attention to your well-being. Yet, it can be easily neglected when your time is spent navigating your family members’ many needs.

  • Be sure to eat nutritiously. Healthy food delivery services might help.
  • Take plenty of downtime to do things you enjoy.
  • Maintain a sense of humor. Maybe watch funny TV shows and movies.
  • Get ample sleep.
  • Take breaks.
  • Manage expectations, self-criticism, and perfectionist tendencies.
  • Look for small wins — positive things that happened in the day.

Most importantly, ask for help when it’s necessary. Whether that’s talking to family members, joining a support group, or making an appointment for professional counseling and services that can assist you before your resources are depleted.

Tips for Dealing With Aging Parents

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Growing older might be challenging for your parents. They might be surprised by slowing down or medical issues they never previously faced before. So, understanding their point of view can go a long way. Here are some other helpful tips:

  • Consider having aging parents move into your home to curb expenses.
  • Think about providing your parents with part-time in-home senior care so you don’t have to shoulder the entire burden of care.
  • Even a few hours of respite assistance every week can be a lifesaver when it comes to relieving caregiver stress.
  • Don’t forget to ask siblings near and far to contribute money, time, or help in some way. This will lessen your load and, according to Mental Health America, might help prevent caregiving from taking over your life.5
  • Consider investing in a medical alert system to make sure your aging loved one is monitored 24 hours a day. You can read our list of the best medical alert systems for a look at our top picks.
  • Purchase high quality hearing aids to ensure seniors are as alert to their surroundings as they can be.
  • Consider an identity theft protection service to prevent your loved one from being scammed or having their identity stolen.
Pro Tip:

Pro Tip:Tax credits and deductions for seniors and children of a certain age who are enrolled in higher education can help lower your tax burden. Medical expense claims can also reduce federal tax liability.

Tips for Dealing With Young Adult Children

  • Set boundaries with your adult child by agreeing to provide them with a set amount of support each month or year for predetermined expenses. We suggest writing up an agreement.
  • Set rules of the house together so expectations are clear regarding cleaning, curfews, responsibilities, etc. Without an agreement, kids may feel a loss of independence and privacy. And the parents might end up micromanaging and overstepping, inhibiting the young adult’s sense of freedom.
  • Keep the doors of communication open. Make time to talk about feelings, exhibit empathy, and resolve issues quickly to keep anxiety at bay.

Tips for Navigating Family Dynamics and Disagreements

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While it’s challenging to be part of the sandwich generation, here are some tips for handling the occasional flare-ups and the major fights:

  • Communicate honestly. Maybe you’re exhausted or your expectations aren’t being met. Also acknowledge what individuals say respectfully. In the end, try to reach an agreement, a compromise, or come up with a third solution.
  • Don’t forget to still connect as a parent and child — going beyond the caregiver role. Be sure to spend time with your older parent as their child. You might garden or go for a walk together. Also devote time with your young adult child as their parent. If you both always shared a love of college basketball, for example, enjoy popcorn and watch a game together on television.
  • Implement weekly or monthly family meetings. The purpose? To discuss schedules and issues. Maybe do it over dessert or a fun activity like a Scrabble game. Having a scheduled time to talk can significantly reduce tension. Setting up a regular time also creates a definite space and time to address matters or air grievances and find solutions before they fester.
Pro Tip:

Pro Tip: It’s important to not try to do it all yourself. Accepting assistance from caring family members, friends, and neighbors can help you persevere during trying times. You’ll also be a good role model for your family. But if you’ve reached a point where you really need professional guidance, find a good therapist. Psychologists, social workers, counselors, and therapists can help you cope with unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. They’ll assist you with tools to help you effectively be a caregiver to both your senior parents and children and still thrive.

Written By:
Barbara Field
Senior Writer and Contributor
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Barbara has worked on staff for stellar organizations like CBS, Harcourt Brace and UC San Diego. She freelanced for Microsoft, health, health tech and other clients. She worked in her early 20s at a senior center and later became a… Learn More About Barbara Field
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